Christmas cheer gets hogtied to the vanity post as the fetish fringe’s fervent peccadilloes buff up their strap-ons, shine their Santa boots, and jump head first into bed screaming: “hold on tight, I’m coming in hot!”

This holiday, get ready for a steamy sled ride through the sexual underbelly of society. “Ho, ho, ho and don’t hold out on the lube.”

Get your motors running as the preppy college cover girl scene stealer slips into a frisky conspiracy that involves chains, unmarked white vans, dodgy kidnappers, and a sexual mastermind that could give the porn industry some pointers.

Then, while you fan your collar, step onto an orgy laced boat commanded by corrupt South American politicians, smugglers, and narcos. An investigative reporter gets the full “scoop” as she learns to love life in the fast lane.

Get a chronological, blow-by-blow account on why lunatic pixies with a growing tab in their local sex shop truly are the best lay.

Finally, to round out the madcap mob of Freudian fetish taboo bombast, get swept into the Balkans as mines go off, bullets whizz by, and a night of passion leads to a jaw-dropping twist that changes the whole narrative.

Humor, characters, desperados, film students, lesbians, debunked presidents, subversive iguanas, and BDSM in these four tantalizing tales of tawdry taboo.