Do you have a “ride or die chick” in your life? A “ride or die chick” is a Black woman who holds down her family and community. She’s that friend or family member that you can call up in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail, if ever needed, and you know she’ll show up and won’t ask any questions. She does anything for her family, friends, and significant other, even at the cost of her own well-being. “No” is not in her vocabulary. She’s beloved by you and many others, but her ride or die trope becomes a problem when she does it indiscriminately. Her self-worth is connected to how much labor she can provide for others. She goes above and beyond for everyone in every aspect of her life—work, family, church, and often it’s not reciprocated, and a “ride or die chick” doesn’t require it to be because she’s a “strong Black woman.” To her, love should be earned, and there’s no limit to what she’ll do for it.

In this book, author, adjunct professor of sociology, and former therapist Shanita Hubbard disrupts the “ride or die” complex, and argues that this way of life has left Black women exhausted, overworked, overlooked, and feeling depleted. She suggests that Black women are to susceptible this mentality because it’s normalized in our culture. It rings loud in our favorite hip-hop songs, and it even shows up in the most important relationship we will ever have—the one with yourself.

Compassionate, candid, hard-hitting, and 100% unapologetic, Ride-or-Die melds Hubbard’s entertaining conversations with her Black girlfriends and her personal experiences as a redeemed “ride-or-die chick” and a former “captain of the build-a-brother team” to fervently dismantle cultural norms that require Black women to take care of everyone but themselves.

Ride or Die urges you to expel the myth that your self-worth is connected to how much labor you provide others, and guides you toward healing. Using hip hop as a backdrop to explore norms that are harmful to Black women, Hubbard shows the way you may be unknowingly perpetuating this harm within your relationships. Hubbard urges you to pull the plug on the “ride or die chick.”