Short Story Press Presents Not So Professional by Brandon Dowless  

Tub the ogre is tired. Tired of the unfounded stereotypes placed upon ogres by humans. They parade around his woods, hunting his prey and gathering his berries, all the while assuming that ogres are a bunch of stupid, ugly, smelly (okay, maybe that one's not “unfounded”, per se) human-eaters. He also happens to be bored. Bored of the same menial tasks day in and day out; hunting prey and gathering berries to help feed the village until they move on to the next piece of land they stake for themselves. As we have found throughout history, being tired and bored is not an ideal state of mind for coming up with great decisions. And so, Tub comes up with a bad decision.  

Tub decides to become a hired killer for a mysterious contact. He believes that the life of a professional hit man will give him all the excitement found in his spy novels, while striking fear into the heart of the humans. Alas, Tub ends up a mere pawn in the hands of someone who doesn't have his best interests at heart. The ogre finds all the excitement he could ask for, and more, but will he survive? Or will his escapades be a mere footnote in time?  

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