That Isaac Newton guy was quite bright. He said that what goes up, must come down. This may sound right to you, but there's been far too many times I've looked at the scales and disagreed. Then I proved him right and dropped 70 pounds! Excellent.

But then I came across another law: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I don't know about opposite reaction, but so far every time I've tried something new on my bucket list it's started a hare running, which reminds me of another law - the law of unintended consequences.

I didn't mean to get entwined with that Italian chef, I just wanted to know how to boil an egg. And I really didn't mean to do that Tantric thing, or cause that big problem at the wedding.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Maybe someone should have told me that before I started out on my bucket list, but hey - I've started, so I'll finish. I just hope one of them goes as planned sometime soon, please; pretty please.

Anyway, Mr. Newton - if you were so clever, what's the recipe for true love? Tell me first then I'll bottle it, and if you can give me a magic weight loss potion too I'll be a trillionaire. No? Oh well, back to my bucket list for me then - I know something will turn up.