On October 7, 1964, Debra Miller's life turns upside down when her mother is arrested for the murder of her father. At only fourteen years old, Debra becomes a ward of the court, grappling with the unfathomable trauma of watching her mother's trial and conviction—a devastation that is only amplified when her family's tragedy is splashed across headlines and featured in Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem.

Desperate to escape the notoriety of her family and utterly ill equipped to face the world, Debra spends her young adulthood sinking into mental illness, toxic relationships, and substance abuse. Meanwhile, her unrepentant mother, Lucille, uses Debra to supply contraband in prison. When Lucille is released, twentysomething Debra, seeking the love and support she so desperately desires, moves in with her—only to find herself constantly manipulated and dragged into her mother's illegal activities. Debra spends years trying to escape her mother's vortex even as she battles her own demons. Ultimately, it's only when Lucille passes away that Debra finally frees herself from her grip—and realizes she needs to change her life.

In this raw and poignant memoir, Debra Miller bares the scars of an adolescence and adulthood shaped by the impact of a destructive mother and demonstrates that healing is always possible.