Franklin The Turtle was co-opted by Team Trump and now our childhoods are ruined. We’ve all reached our breaking point with Ticketmaster but Olivia Dean did something about it.

Whales are being given breathalysers and don’t even want to talk to a lawyer first. Ozempic is about to go generic in Canada - so are all the GLP-1 drugs, aka “gotta lose pounds” shots.

Gavin Crawford quizzes comedians Martha Chaves, Alice Moran and Craig Lauzon about what happened in the news this week.

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A truck full of “Nutcracker” ballet sets is stolen, disappointing both cast and crooks. The US Ambassador to Canada is making headlines for being kind of undiplomatic. One American booze company is moving here because 98% of its business is Canadian drinkers.New research says one of our bodily organs goes through five significant changes in our lifetime; it’s above the waist, but that’s your only clue. Gavin Crawford quizzes Kris Siddiqi, Carley Thorne and Mattea Roach about this week’s headlines.

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Wicked is impossible to avoid, even on this podcast. “Quiet, Piggy” did not rank in the most-used words of the year, but parasocial did. Why was it chosen as the word of 2025? A Hamilton man stole a bus and no one was hurt, so we rejoice about a victimless crime that does not include any mention of files or famine. Gavin Crawford quizzes Andrew Phung, Eric Peterson and Jan Caruana about this week’s headlines.

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HBO is getting out of children’s programming? We didn’t know it was into it. Beers are getting smaller in the UK. The most popular names of 2025 all sound like the Golden Girls. And our panels talks about the time Katy Perry shot across the sky thanks to Jeff Bezos. It’s a collection of our silliest stories as we recap the headlines that gave us a break from the dismal news. Gavin Crawford quizzes Ashley Botting, Brandon Ash-Mohammed, Eric Peterson and Mattea Roach.

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Our panellists beg: please, Santa, do not bring us a Christmas election. Red, yellow and green traffic lights are outdated because a fourth colour might be added to intersections. There’s a big innovation in menstrual products and thank god, it’s not AI! Peanut allergies have fallen fast, yet the PB sandwich remains a schoolyard crime. Why no one’s allowed to celebrateThe Great Peanut Comeback just yet.

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The Art of the Meal: Trump tries to avoid Carney but ends up dining with him. The sauna business is luring new clients - all part of its plan to gross 1.77 billion dollars worldwide. What particular group are saunas trying to attract? Alberta is doubling-down on its “Strong and Free” slogan with a new contest that no one asked for. Tom Hearn, Courtney Gilmour and Martha Chaves take the news quiz with Gavin Crawford.

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The world is so bleak the Louvre heist feels like a happy story. Whatever will become of Napoleon’s family jewels? And please donate to our Go Jays Gofundme so we can get World Series tickets. The media has the Blue Jays as underdogs, but what’s underneath an underdog? Meanwhile, Pierre Poilievre can’t stop talking about his ex-running mate, Justin Trudeau. Finally, our panellists are trying to speedrun a high grindscore.

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Teenage Dream or PR Scheme? The Justin Trudeau x Katy Perry romance has got Canada shaking its head. DAHHHH Blue Jays win! And the team tries to seal the Honmoon with a new baseball fight song. How did Doug Ford convince Ronald Reagan to star in the Premier’s new ad? Plus, New Brunswick is having a fire sale of the American liquor it pulled of the shelves. Gavin Crawford quizzes Miguel Rivas, Ann Pornel and Brandon Ash-Mohammed about this week’s headlines.