This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick trade space marines for medieval mayhem as they dive headfirst into Doom: Dark Ages—the blood-soaked prequel we never knew we needed. Set centuries before the events of the modern Doom series, this brutal reimagining throws the Doom Slayer into a world of stone castles, haunted cathedrals, and hellspawn in chainmail. Armed with a fist forged in demonic fire, a flail that probably violates several Geneva Conventions, and yes, a medieval chainsaw shield, our hosts hack, slash, and shoot their way through a kingdom that desperately needs a hero.

As they unravel the ancient lore behind the Slayer's origins. Expect intense boss fights, heavy metal Gregorian chants, and enough gore to repaint the castle walls several times over. Grab your gauntlets and grit your teeth—because this week, it's not just about ripping and tearing... It’s about doing it with medieval flair.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick grab their retro-futuristic cameras and slip on their skater shoes to explore the neon-lit, decaying world of Umurangi Generation—a first-person photography game where the apocalypse isn’t coming… It’s already here. Set in the last city standing after a slow-motion global collapse, they take on the role of a courier-slash-shutterbug tasked with documenting the final days of humanity through the lens of Gen Z cynicism and lo-fi aesthetic grit.

As Dave frantically searches for the right angle to capture a giant mech looming over a dance party, Nick becomes weirdly obsessed with snapping pictures of pigeons in gas masks and spray-painted slogans that hit a little too close to home. The vibes are immaculate, the worldbuilding is environmental, and the political commentary is sharp enough to cut through a hazmat suit.

Will they unlock every lens, find every hidden photo op, and interpret the unspoken poetry of a dying world? Or will they just take blurry shots of their own feet and call it art? Either way, this week’s episode is a gritty, melancholic love letter to rebellion, expression, and taking one last beautiful picture before the lights go out.

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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick pack their best magical brushes and step into the hauntingly beautiful, surreal nightmare that is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. In a world where death comes not from war or plague, but from a woman with a paintbrush and a god complex, they join the 33rd Expedition—one of humanity’s last desperate hopes to break a deadly cycle. Every year, the Paintress awakens and paints a number onto the monolith. Everyone of that age is instantly erased from existence, memories and all.

As they traverse crumbling cities frozen in time, twisted dreamscapes, and melancholic ruins of civilizations of old, Dave tries to keep up with the fast-paced, reflex-based combat while muttering “this is turn-based?!” every few minutes. Meanwhile, Nick gets distracted mid-battle by the fact that every enemy looks like a tragic French oil painting that just came to life and wants to kill you. With the clock ticking and only one year left before humanity is fully erased, our duo must master the art of dodging, parrying, and emotionally processing existential horror in real time.

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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick polish up their lightsabers and take on Star Wars: The New Droid Army, a Game Boy Advance title that boldly asks the question: “What if Anakin Skywalker had a bad day, bad intel, and a worse run animation?” Set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, this pocket-sized adventure drops Anakin onto Tatooine with a mission to investigate a new kind of droid that, somehow, completely ignores lightsabers, which seems like something the Jedi Council probably should've mentioned before deployment.

As Anakin, the boys battle through wave after wave of robotic enemies, shady bounty hunters, and the occasional “wait, where am I supposed to go?” moment, all while navigating levels that look like someone spilled Star Wars onto a spreadsheet. But hidden beneath the crunchy graphics and suspicious hitboxes is a story filled with betrayal, double-crosses, and enough lightsaber swinging to qualify as cardio. Can Dave's Nostalgia goggles find any redeeming qualities in a game as complex as Jar Jar Binks? Will Nick ever remember the name of Liam Neeson’s character in the Phantom Menace?

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This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave have to grab their notebooks, hold onto their rabbits' feet, and dive headfirst into the twisted, ever-changing corridors of Blue Prince. In this rougelike puzzle game, they play the role of Simon P. Jones, a young boy who is to inherit the estate of his great uncle Herbert S. Sinclair, but it comes with one catch: they must locate a hidden 46th room within the mansion in order to secure his inheritance. Failure to reach that room within the span of a single day means Simon must start the search fresh the next day, as the house's architecture is rearranged overnight.

Can Dave stop barreling ahead with all the strategic grace of a caffeine-fueled raccoon? And will Nick's vast board gaming experience mean nothing will be left undiscovered? (Except maybe the sprint button!)

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This week on Critical Arcade, Nick and Dave put away their weapons, slow down time, and step into the beautiful, contemplative dreamscape of The Gardens Between. In this surreal puzzle adventure, they join childhood friends Arina and Frendt as they explore a string of mysterious island gardens, each one crafted from fragments of their shared memories. With the power to control time itself, Nick and Dave will have to guide the pair through shifting pathways, manipulate objects frozen in moments, and unlock the quiet stories hidden within the scenery.

As they venture deeper into this emotional journey, they’ll encounter oversized swings, glowing lanterns, and long-forgotten treasures from the friends’ past. Why does Dave think every game like this must have some dark twist at the end? And can Nick put on monetary value to the warm fuzzies this game give you?

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This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick take to the stars in Stellaris, where diplomacy, warfare, and questionable ethics collide in a galaxy teeming with possibilities. As they forge their own interstellar empire, they’ll have to balance exploration, technological advancement, and the occasional existential crisis when a sentient AI starts asking too many questions.

Will they embrace the path of peace, fostering alliances and trade with other civilizations? Will Nick decide that diplomacy is overrated and declare war on anything that moves? Can Dave resist the urge to genetically modify his entire population into something completely unrecognizable?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.