Being called "low maintenance" feels like a win — until you realize the price you've been paying to earn it. In this episode, Pete and Nikki dig into why so many people with ADHD build their identity around not needing anything from anyone, and what happens when the bill comes due.

Pete defines maintenance as the information, time, supports, accommodations, and care that let you function without constant internal triage — and argues that nobody is maintenance free. Together they explore the privatized support behaviors that keep ADHDers silent: not asking for written instructions, not requesting deadline extensions while drowning, saying "whatever works for you" when you have strong preferences, and hiding the enormous effort required to look effortless.

The conversation introduces two low maintenance archetypes — the Ghost, who disappears when overwhelmed and returns like nothing happened, and the Fixer, who over-functions to become indispensable and then collapses. Pete and Nikki explore what both patterns cost: exhaustion, resentment, mystery anger, relationship distortion, and identity erosion.

This is an episode about learning to say "I matter" — two words that don't require a journaling practice or a checklist, just the courage to believe them. Plus, Nikki drops a powerful reframe: when you start asking for help, you open the door for others to do the same.

Download the Relearning Maintenance Worksheet that accompanies this episode right here!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (00:56) - Support the Show on Patreon
• (02:21) - What does it mean when we say we're Low Maintenance?

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!

This episode turns into a stealth self-care intervention when James Ochoa joins Pete and Nikki and immediately drags “motivation” out of the tidy, planner-friendly realm and into the messy, bodily reality of fear, avoidance, and chronic stress. They start with the familiar ADHD paradox—knowing exactly what to do and still not being able to do it—and James reframes that stuckness as normal rather than shameful, then introduces “resourcing” as the practical antidote: not a single trick, but layered supports (internal and external) that make motion possible even when meaning, willpower, and good intentions aren’t showing up.

From there, the conversation gets uncomfortably specific in the best way, as Pete uses a long-avoided dermatologist appointment to walk through what “functional pressure” and relationship-based accountability can look like in real time. They explore why the hardest part is often the moment before the call, why eight-out-of-ten certainty is a workable target, and how to build a personal “wind-making” kit—scripts, sensory cues, body movement, tiny rituals, and other anchors that help you cross the threshold from uncertainty to action. The live chat brings in real-world complications (sleep issues, pain, dental trauma, AuDHD scripting and emotion tagging), and James offers concrete, compassionate ways to get support without muscling through alone—because the point isn’t to never fall off the wagon, it’s to get better at restarting.

Links & Notes

• James Ochoa
• Focused Forward by James Ochoa
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (04:28) - Introducing James Ochoa
• (05:11) - Finding Meaning
• (21:17) - Making Your Own Wind
• (36:31) - Chronic Stress and Adult ADHD
• (41:30) - Writing, Writing, Writing

🎯 Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS.

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!

That “this year will be different” promise feels so good when it’s fresh… and so brutal when the old patterns quietly return. In this episode, Pete and Nikki unpack why that boom-and-bust cycle hits so hard for ADHD brains: the early dopamine of a new system (or a newly organized sock drawer), the unrealistic maintenance expectations baked into most productivity advice, and the emotional crash that follows when the setup doesn’t hold.

They dig into the real trap underneath the resolution mindset—living in the gap between who you were yesterday and who you hope to be tomorrow—and how to pull your attention back to the only place you actually have leverage: today. Along the way, they talk about why asking for help can feel so risky (hello, shame and RSD), how to regulate before you ask, and what it looks like to reframe help as advocacy instead of rescue. The goal isn’t becoming someone new. It’s learning to support the person you already are, with more time, more buffer, and a lot less self-punishment.

Links & Notes

• Free download! How to Ask for Help Without the Guilt

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:30) - Letting Go of the "This Year will be a Different Story" Story 😉

🎯 Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS.