Cricket’s for the birds. It’s October (or was October as of pressing) and the only bats that belong within spitting distance of Capitol Records are made in Louisville right in the heart of the ol’ U.S. of A.

To celebrate the end of another season of America’s pastime, somehow currently dominated by Canadians (#2025), T.J. and Tony resurrect Producer Casey’s most confusing episode concept: THE BEATLE BATTING ORDER — this time constructing their lineups exclusively from stateside releases.

Between mouthfuls of peanuts and Cracker Jacks, we wonder:

⚾️ ❄ Is Paul actually a Mets fan, or is Darryl Strawberry just his dealer?

⚾️ 🐓 Who’s the superior mascot: The San Diego Chicken, or the Untitled Beatles Jimmie Nicol?

⚾️ ❌ [Drunk Chicago Guy] How come we still ain’t heard the lost recordings of Kirby Puckett and the Left Field Gap?

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Minneapolis! Home of Prince, “Mary Tyler Moore”, and arguably the most exciting NBA player today, Joe Ingles. And of late, it’s home to Producer Casey; who recently took advantage of a last minute opportunity to see Sir Paul McCartney (heard of him, “Beatle fan?”). It’s Casey’s second Macca concert, and, arguably, first-ever concert. Figure that one out, math!

Casey reports back with special inside information (that’s a lie) from where the mini-apple’s mediocre/stupid football team plays (GO BEARS), with news on the Hot City Horns, Minny Moms who Lap Dance, and the still-growing legend of rock’s GOAT. Along the way, the Untitled Trio get a special message from our social media guru Glenny the K, who just saw Paul at Producer Casey’s famous pizzarena. Plus, they also ask:

🍔 Is seeing Macca in Des Moines and not eating a Drake Diner burger doused in homemade 1000 island dressing beforehand meant to be a huge middle finger to T.J.? Or does it just come off that way because of the ongoing paranoia?

🎷Would rock history have been vastly different or exactly the same if someone gave Stan Bronstein a keyboard with a bad saxophone patch in 1972?

⚾️ Do the kewl kids still play marry/f**k/kill with Gary Puckett, Kirby Puckett, and Wilson Pickett?

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Everyone knows that the only legitimate and definitive collections of Wings tunes is “Wingspan”; obviously the only one that includes Take It Away (obviously not a Wings tune).

At long last, T.J.’s found a venue to sound off on the editorial decisions of now THREE separate Wings greatest hits collection: 1975’s “Wings Greatest”, 2001’s “Wingspan”, and the latest “Wings” collection due out this November. And Tony… is an accommodating podcast partner.

While we wax rhapsodic on Wings, we also wonder:

👗 Does his love of “Hot Rocks” mean Tony’s a housewife and/or little girl?

🌯 Which is the more iconic Chicago eatery: Mr. Submarine, Pockets, or Kenny Rogers Roasters?

🥃 [Drunk guy’s back at the bar] You tryna tell me that Starbucks album with the ukuleles ain’t a greatest hits record?

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In much of the world, fall has arrived: a time for pumpkin spiced fajitas, cozy, warm L’eggs (TM), and candy corn suppositories.

But in the magical world of Beatlefestlandia, it’s always 85 degrees, Simon Kirke is hanging out with Eddie Deezen, and everyone gets a picture sleeve of Ringo’s “You’re 16”!

Let’s Huey Lewis and the Fake News (#Fox) our way back in time, to August, as we proudly present - in colour! - the global podcast premiere of “The Beatlefest for Beatles Fans”! BYO colostomy bag o'wine, as Tony, T.J., Producer Casey, P3Z-Nutz, and a Sgt. Pepper movie finale-worthy cast of thousands (tens?) head to Rosemont to kick summer’s lazy ass one last time.

Incredibly (bit much?), this year marks the UB3 (#Cantaloop) sharing the Fest for Beatles Fans together, as a trio, for what feels like the first time! Feels like the very first time!

Speaking of Foreigner, If the Roman Emperor from 54 to 68 AD, a.k.a. “The Antichrist”, was a fan, would he have been a Juke Box Nero? (Angry Chicago guy: AND HOW COME THEY ASK JAGBAG QUESTIONS NOW BEFORE THEY EVEN GET TO THE PART OF THE BLURB WHERE THEY SAY THEY’RE GONNA ASK DUMBASS QUESTIONS? AND HOW COME CHICAGO MEDIA DON’T COVER THE WHITE SOX NO MORE JUST CAUSE THEY AIN’T IN THE PLAYOFFS? AND HOW COME THE WOKE BLACKHAWKS GOT A THEME NIGHT DEDICATED TO…”)

Sssssh. He’s asleep. His snoring is disturbing, a tell-tale sign that he’ll die soon. His son is a dancer, doing “Carousel” in Peoria, and has a roommate named Raoul. Life is tragic for this broken soul, but the sun will rise tomorrow, and when it does, he’ll……

Ssssssh, this author is now asleep. Emotionally.

Fin.

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The guys are on a brief hiatus this week, but we proudly present this all-time favorite of ours from back in 2021!

-----

Originally released August 14 and 21, 2001

Not every Lennon and McCartney tune made its way onto a Beatles record, but that didn’t mean they had to hide away gathering dust, only to be released on some future 20-disc rarities box set. The greatest songwriting duo in history also kicked some of their work over to other artists making their names in the 60s—Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, Cilla Black, the Fourmost, some scrappy Londoners calling themselves the Rolling Stones, etc.—and this week T.J. and Tony share some of their four-fab faves the Beatles gave away. And maybe also a couple of tossers.

While they’re at it, they also made some time to:

• Record a pilot episode for the Untitled TV Guide Podcast*
• Play a game of "Bob Gaudio, James Guercio, or Joe Guercio?"
• And reveal their long-guarded secret that Tony and T.J. were, in fact, Chad, Jeremy, Peter, Gordon, Jan, AND Dean.

Buckle up! It's gonna be a two parter.

* Please no stealing our amazing podcast ideas

--

In this thrilling conclusion, T.J. and Tony get Lost in Space (and Portugal) while rummaging thru the songs John, Paul and George gave to other artists—P.J. Proby, Mary Hopkin, Badfinger, Jackie Lomax and more. The embarrassment of riches is sure to send you into a lap slappin’ frenzy.

As usual, the fellas pose hard-hitting questions such as:

• Which performance trick did Paul McCartney nick from Barry Manilow?
• Who is the most famous member of Hollywood Vampires?
• Do they have the rodeo in the United Kingdom?
• Plus cameo appearances by local plumbers from Tony’s crackerbox palace.

Today’s episode was compiled by guest editor L’anJello Peculiarissimo.

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Riverside.FM is proud (neither legally nor officially) to present (allegedly) Chuck Swirsky and The Untitled Beatles Podcast! Brought to you (someday?) by Westmont’s incredible Blue Village Vinyl.

And when not spending gobs of sweet improv cash in Chicagoland’s many fine vinyl establishments, you can often find the UBP Two doing the next best thing: seeing Ringo Starr And His Approximately Infinite All Starr Band, live in Chicago!

Every “real” Beatles fan is aware that the Chicago Theater’s most famous moment was when Donny Osmond pranced the stage nightly in a coat of many colors back in 1995. (Trivia: That’s what killed a ton of old people that summer. #HeGone) But not anymore. Because Ringo Starr in 2025 has never sounded better, supported by a loyal, accomplished band who still rocks hard. Sometimes, for too long!

So join Tony, T.J., Ringo, some true all-stars, a replacement player (e.g. “scab”) or two, and a few great UBP listeners, for some spirited/spirits-filled conversation, and highly illegal concert audio that can rather easily be traced back to the phone on which it was recorded. LOL! So in the interest of free speech, and praying our billion dollar merger with Sinstar Media goes through, let’s ignore dumb legalities/norms and instead misdirect with inane questions, like:

💨🔥 Is the original “gaslighting” when Aerosmith released the exact same #1 song 17 times in the 90’s?

🍏🤑 Do people with CDS (Calderstone Derangement Syndrome) know they’re actually in a cult, cruelly brainwashed by Big Apple?

✂🎂 Would the Average White Band have been more successful if they’d stopped being so damn bossy all the time?

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F**k’d up world, ain’t it Untitled Beatle People? Like all rational weirdos, we’re fed up with the fascism that (as of this writing) has removed Jimmy Kimmel from the airwaves. We stand with a fellow comic and avowed Beatles/Letterman stan, and against both censorship and emotionally crippled, diabolical jag bags.

Fortunately… we have the perfect antidote to the state of the world, as we go back through the mists of time (cue “The Long & Winding Road” from “Tripping The Live Fantastic”)…to a time they call the 60’s (…more magic piano blues noodling…) and welcome a die-hard, O.G. Beatles fan and Chicago legend, “Beatle” Fred Ciba!

From being at the Beatles historic Chicago shows to shopping at the Apple Boutique and visiting the original Cavern Club, Fred experienced it all, in real time. Join us as Fred provides a fascinating glimpse into the exhilaration of Beatlemania, as heard on Chicago’s bygone, legendary rock radio stations like WLS, WIND, and WCFL.

Fred also puts up with a fair amount of unnecessary, and, arguably, outright disrespectful nonsense from T.J. (YA SHOCKED?) as the Gab Two also ask:

🦶 Will the standalone vinyl of “Anthology 4” feature “Now & Then” (Dave Clark Remix)?

🚘 (Angry Chicago Guy, he’s wearing a fake LaMarr Hoyt jersey): How come the Herbie Hancock building ain’t named after no talking car no more? And how come I ain’t never met no other white guy named LaMarr?

🪁 UBP JOKE WORKSHOP ALERT: If a bunch of jerks listen to The Cyrkle, does that make them (wait for it) The JerkCyrkles?

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Their second film is fab and gear! Untitled Peedles, Have No Fear! 2025, what a year! And our final look at “Help!” has arrived! #WeDidntWriteNoPoetry

Tony, T.J., and producer P3Z-Casz put the Finnishing touchers on their “Help!” deep-dish, with a side of extra kvetching, as old, sad, deranged people do. Who doesn’t want to hear that? Are U a fan or not, pal? And, while we’re here, are you a fan of these questions?

📚 (Angry Chicago Guy, he’s up late, hoping MeTV will show ONE MORE “Hogan’s Heroes” before sunrise:) “How come Tony thinks he can name so many improv scenes on “The Bear?” Does this jagbag think he’s Del Charna? (#Runaway) And how come Mike Myers never made no movie about Del that I read about in the Reader back when Borders was on Diversy and Clark and Diane ain’t dead?”

🤦‍♂️ Why didn't T.J. get to his “super important”, underlined note about a “shockingly different” Paul vocal track in the heavily edited “The Night Before” scene? The guys recorded for like six hours, what the hell?

🐴 What about your father’s horse?

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