Waking Up to Narcissism Podcast Por Tony Overbay LMFT capa

Waking Up to Narcissism

Waking Up to Narcissism

De: Tony Overbay LMFT
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 "Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!Copyright 2025 Waking Up to Narcissism Desenvolvimento Pessoal Higiene e Vida Saudável Psicologia e Saúde Mental
Episódios
  • The Family Butterfly Effect: How Your Uncle Ray Changed Everything—And How You Can Change It Back

    The Family Butterfly Effect: How Your Uncle Ray Changed Everything—And How You Can Change It Back
    Dec 11 2025
    What do you do when someone in your family needs drama to feel alive? In this crossover episode, Tony dives deep into the anatomy of emotional immaturity through the story of "Uncle Ray"—a family member whose constant need for conflict, grievance, and the "one-up position" sent shockwaves through an entire family system. Tony breaks down the key patterns of emotional immaturity you'll recognize: black-and-white thinking, assumed intent without curiosity, difficulty with accountability, emotional reasoning ("I feel it, so it must be true"), external validation dependence, magical thinking, and the exhausting game of "whack-a-mole" that comes with trying to have a conversation with someone who's looking for attack surfaces rather than connection. You'll also learn about "pathological kindness"—the breakup-resistant dynamic that keeps enablers locked in relationships with emotionally immature people—and how these patterns get passed down through generations. Tony traces Uncle Ray's patterns back to his mother's divorce and the emotional template that shaped him, showing how one grandmother's pain rippled forward into holiday traditions lost and family relationships fractured. If you have an Uncle Ray in your life, this episode offers clarity: you can't change them, but you can set boundaries, refuse triangulation, grieve the family you wished you had, and become the catalyst for a different kind of ripple in your own family system. 00:00 Introduction: Family Dynamics and Roles 01:05 The Butterfly Effect in Families 03:02 Crossover Episode: Emotional Immaturity and Family Systems 04:36 The Butterfly Effect: Scientific Examples 10:02 The Butterfly Effect in Family Systems 14:33 Uncle Ray: The Catalyst of Chaos 23:25 Pathological Kindness: Janet's Role 27:39 Emotional Immaturity: Patterns and Consequences 33:10 Black and White Thinking 33:40 Mind Reading and Assumed Intent 34:28 Difficulty with Accountability 35:39 Emotional Reasoning 36:35 External Validation Dependence 37:58 Magical Thinking 39:03 Managing Other People's Emotions 40:40 The Butterfly Effect in Family Dynamics 41:15 Curiosity and Emotional Maturity 43:28 Reconnecting with Uncle Dave 51:30 The Impact of Family Systems 55:55 The Cost of Emotional Immaturity 58:25 Breaking the Cycle 58:45 Setting Boundaries and Responding Differently 01:02:38 Hope and Creating Positive Ripples Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    1 hora e 5 minutos
  • Narcissistic Collapse: Why Their Breakdown Is Actually Your Breakthrough

    Narcissistic Collapse: Why Their Breakdown Is Actually Your Breakthrough
    Dec 2 2025
    Is there such a thing as a "narcissistic collapse" — or is it just another trend designed to keep you scrolling at 2 AM looking for answers to why your relationship is the number one source of your frustration? Tony answers an email from a listener who keeps seeing videos promising that 2025 will be "the year of the narcissistic collapse"—the moment when the mask finally falls off, and everyone sees the truth. Cosmic justice would finally be served, and he would immediately feel a sense of relief, and either his partner would now become the person he’d always dreamed of, or he would undoubtedly find his soulmate within minutes after the collapse. And they would ride off into the sunset together. Tony breaks down the email line by line and unpacks everything from emotional immaturity and projection, the danger of couples therapy with the narcissist, to the continuing trap of trying to give your partner an epiphany. But the real conversation is about what narcissistic collapse actually is — and more importantly, what it isn't. Here's what the internet won't tell you: A narcissistic collapse isn't a sign of their progress. It's a sign of yours. They're not collapsing because they've changed. They're collapsing because you have — and the system that kept them emotionally afloat is breaking down. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why asking "Am I the narcissist?" almost always means you're not - The difference between reactive abuse and actual instability — and why therapists often get it wrong - How your vulnerability becomes an "attack surface" in emotionally immature relationships - What the research actually says about narcissistic injury, decompensation, and collapse - Why your growth equals their loss of control — and your calm equals their panic - David Schnarch’s theory on differentiation, and his Four Points of Balance that make real change possible - How to stop selling yourself on a destination of hope and start building the vehicle that will truly take you where you need to go If you've ever scrolled through narcissism content at 2 AM looking for answers, this one's for you. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:38 Listener Email: A Muse for Self-Discovery 01:00 Defining a Muse in Everyday Life 01:55 Listener's Struggle: Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 02:28 The Narcissistic Collapse: Fact or Fiction? 02:51 Listener's Background and Marriage Issues 03:30 Therapy and Self-Doubt 03:51 Emotional Immaturity's Impact on Vulnerability 04:06 The Epiphany Trap and Anxious Attachment 04:35 Couples Therapy Pitfalls 05:18 The Role of Social Media in Coping 19:45 Reactive Abuse and Emotional Safety 28:01 The 5-4-3-2-1 Countdown Technique 29:09 Understanding Narcissistic Collapse 30:08 The Origin and Impact of Narcissistic Injury 30:39 The Role of Boundaries in Narcissistic Collapse 31:21 Emotional Immaturity and Defensive Structures 36:13 The Process of Differentiation 37:51 The Importance of Self-Validation 38:26 The Narcissistic Collapse as a Sign of Your Progress 44:10 Selling the Destination vs. Building the Vehicle 47:12 The Reality of Transformation and Healing 52:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Women navigating emotionally immature relationships: come join Tony’s private women’s Facebook group. Men beginning your own emotional maturity journey: check out the Men’s Emotional Architects group. Links in the show notes. Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    54 minutos
  • Death by 1,000 Cuts X: The Ten Emotional Commandments (You’re Most Likely Still Breaking)

    Death by 1,000 Cuts X: The Ten Emotional Commandments (You’re Most Likely Still Breaking)
    Nov 18 2025
    If you’ve ever been in a relationship with emotional immaturity or narcissistic behavior, you know the truth: Healing doesn’t come with a map. Emotional safety doesn’t come with instructions. And waking up is rarely a straight line. In this 10th “Death by 1,000 Cuts” episode, Tony introduces The Ten Emotional Commandments — the patterns, boundaries, and insights that so many people wish they had years earlier. These commandments aren’t rules you obey; they’re survival skills you learn. They’re the shifts that help you understand your emotions, trust your gut, stop overexplaining, and finally step out of the chaos you didn’t choose. This episode is validating, grounding, sometimes funny, sometimes painful — and deeply relatable. With listener-submitted “cuts,” real-world examples, and a gentle breakdown of what healing actually looks like, Tony helps you recognize the patterns AND understand how to break them. If you’ve felt alone in your confusion, in your exhaustion, or in the emotional whiplash of trying to make sense of someone else’s immaturity — this episode is for you. 00:00 Introduction and Series Overview 00:37 The Power of Your Stories 01:20 A Survivor's Poem 04:42 The 10 Emotional Commandments 08:54 Commandment 1: Raise Your Emotional Baseline 15:59 Commandment 2: Get Your PhD in Gaslighting 21:53 Commandment 3: Drop the Rope of Emotional Tug of War 27:33 Commandment 4: Set Boundaries and Mean Them 32:17 Stop Searching for the Perfect Words 33:01 Examples of False Promises and Manipulation 33:52 Understanding Emotional Immaturity 36:41 Limiting Your Attack Surface 40:13 Recognizing Projection 44:45 Honoring Your Inner Dialogue 48:37 Trusting Your Gut and Emotions 53:07 Change is Not Linear 57:51 Final Thoughts and Resources Women navigating emotionally immature relationships: come join Tony’s private women’s Facebook group. Men beginning your own emotional maturity journey: check out the Men’s Emotional Architects group. Links in the show notes. Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    1 hora e 2 minutos
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