Waking Up to Narcissism Podcast Por Tony Overbay LMFT capa

Waking Up to Narcissism

Waking Up to Narcissism

De: Tony Overbay LMFT
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 "Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!Copyright 2026 Waking Up to Narcissism Desenvolvimento Pessoal Higiene e Vida Saudável Psicologia e Saúde Mental
Episódios
  • Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC

    Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC
    Feb 16 2026
    What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this crossover episode with therapist Angela De Hoyos, ALC, Tony explores why validation feels like survival when you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable home. You learned that love could vanish without warning—so you became hypervigilant, endlessly working to secure connection that was never yours to earn. Now you may find yourself starving for validation from the one person who can't hold it steadily. You can learn more about Angela by visiting her website https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/ and subscribe to her podcast “Finding Balance with Mental Health and Spirituality” here https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/podcast EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Understand the origins of validation: why we learn we exist through others' responses—and how that wiring gets exploited Discover why "pathologically kind" people attract emotionally immature partners—and keep trying harder when it doesn't work Recognize the trap of "if it's my fault, I can fix it"—and why that belief keeps you chasing validation instead of building self-trust Learn the crucial difference between validation and agreement—you can acknowledge someone's experience without abandoning your own Build a 90% solid sense of self so you stop outsourcing your worth to people who use it against you 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 01:25 Guest Introduction: Angela de Hoyos 03:16 The Magnetic Marriage Course Pitch 06:20 Understanding Validation and Emotional Immaturity 08:15 Therapeutic Insights and Parenting Dynamics 20:46 The Concept of Co-Regulation 28:40 Exploring the Concept of Existence and Value 29:05 The Story of Jill: Unpredictable Childhood 30:33 Understanding Validation and Recognition 33:50 The Role of Self-Validation 40:59 Spiritual Perspectives on Validation 51:25 Final Thoughts and Reflections Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.com If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com
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    53 minutos
  • Flying Monkeys, Switzerland Friends & Narcissists, Oh My! Understanding Secondary Betrayal

    Flying Monkeys, Switzerland Friends & Narcissists, Oh My! Understanding Secondary Betrayal
    Feb 4 2026
    Why do the people you thought knew you best stay silent—or worse, side with the person who hurt you? This secondary betrayal often cuts deeper than the narcissistic behavior itself. Switzerland friends insist on neutrality while your pain makes them uncomfortable. Flying monkeys carry your vulnerability straight back to your abuser. When you finally name what's happening and the people closest to you rush to minimize or report back, your nervous system doesn't just register disappointment—it registers danger. Tony walks through why "I don't want to take sides" isn't actually neutral, how flying monkeys weaponize your words, and the exhausting ping-pong match of trying to be understood by people who need not to understand you in order to feel safe themselves. In this episode, you'll learn: The critical difference between Switzerland friends (who neutralize) and flying monkeys (who expose)—and why both leave you questioning reality How narcissistic systems hijack co-regulation, making everyone responsible for stabilizing the most emotionally immature person in the room Why your body's response after sharing something vulnerable is better data than the words exchanged The five ways narcissists regulate their nervous systems through you: superiority, victimhood, being right, being admired, and being defended How to stop "auditioning for belief" and start choosing relationships that can actually hold emotional weight Drawing from over 20 years of couples therapy and thousands of real conversations, Tony offers a framework for recognizing when explanation has replaced connection—and why the most regulated thing you can say is simply, "I know what I experienced." Ready to stop offering your nervous system as a resource to people who won't protect it? Subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs to hear they're not crazy—they're waking up. 00:00 Introduction and Gratitude 00:37 Sales Pitch: Magnetic Marriage Course 05:37 Understanding Narcissistic Relationships 06:46 The Pain of Secondary Betrayal 07:44 Navigating Anger and Injustice 15:04 Switzerland Friends and Emotional Avoidance 22:03 Story Time: Ned, Steve, and Fran 30:01 Avoiding Accountability and Ownership 30:17 The Role of Flying Monkeys 30:32 Switzerland Friends vs. Flying Monkeys 30:57 Emotional Honesty in Unsafe Systems 31:17 The Futility of Over-Explaining 34:02 Adjusting Expectations and Setting Boundaries 34:42 Understanding and Managing Anger 35:28 Withdrawing the Need for Permission 36:23 Grieving What Won't Change 37:14 Recognizing Emotionally Safe Relationships 39:13 The Concept of Co-Regulation 39:55 Narcissistic Systems and Emotional Regulation 45:43 Interacting with Switzerland Friends and Flying Monkeys 54:46 Choosing Relationships That Hold Emotional Weight 55:41 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.com If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com
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    58 minutos
  • Narcissistic Off Switch: When Naming It Makes It Worse

    Narcissistic Off Switch: When Naming It Makes It Worse
    Jan 21 2026
    Can you "turn off" a narcissist with one calm sentence? Tony unpacks the viral "narcissistic off switch" concept and discovers why tactics alone won't save you—but they might be exactly where real transformation begins. After stumbling upon behavioral expert Chase Hughes' framework for disarming manipulation using FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt), Tony initially resisted the idea. It felt too simple. But when he traced the concept back to its source, something shifted. The off switch isn't about changing them—it's about stopping the erosion of you. Through raw client stories and David Schnarch's differentiation work, Tony reveals why awareness doesn't land as insight to the emotionally immature—it lands as exposure. And exposure is a threat. What you'll learn: Recognize when FOG and CAVA (Control, Approval, Validation, Attention) are being used against you Understand why naming manipulation often backfires in deeply bonded relationships Apply Schnarch's four points of balance to stay grounded during accusations Stop defending a "reflected sense of self" and start building one that's truly yours Embrace outcome independence—saying your truth without needing their agreement Drawing from 20+ years as a marriage and family therapist specializing in emotionally immature dynamics, Tony bridges tactical awareness with the deeper work of differentiation. 00:00 Introduction and Social Media Plugs 01:11 The Lost Episode: Narcissistic Off Switch 05:27 Chase Hughes and the Concept of Prediction 16:11 Understanding Manipulation: FOG and KAVA 18:33 Real-Life Examples: Navigating Emotional Manipulation 28:46 Understanding Unhealthy Responses 29:24 The Power of Differentiated Response 30:18 Challenges in Relationships 30:42 Contrasting Views on Manipulation 32:09 Real-Life Examples of Manipulation 37:22 The Concept of Differentiation 43:35 Projection and Emotional Immaturity 46:50 The Four Points of Balance 50:53 Gridlock and Constructing Your Crucible 54:22 Final Thoughts on Emotional Autonomy Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
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    57 minutos
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