Liz and Helen discuss "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man," along with the first match-up in their X-Files villains bracket: Robert Patrick Modell vs the Flukeman. Plus, writing advice, spy likelihoods, and the realization that CSM should just go to therapy for his daddy issues instead of assassinating so many people.

Helen and Liz discuss the X-Files episode "Sanguinarium," along with a salmon costume, all the five-sided shapes, poor tattoo decisions, and an obscure Catholic holiday. Plus, we're kicking off our X-Files Villains Tournament! Next week we'll discuss the first match-up, Pusher vs Flukeman, so let us know your thoughts now!

Helen and Liz discuss "The Field Where I Died," along with emo goldendoodles, a spooky mermaid book recommendation, and the intolerable rice cooker monologue. Plus, a fan theory suggests Liz and Helen harbor a dark secret. Maybe we're hiding in plain sight? Finally, sorry Zach!

Welcome Brazilian listeners?? Liz and Helen discuss "Unruhe," along with an update to Book Corner, a crucial dog name correction, and the use of teeth as a disguise.

Helen and Liz discuss the X-files episode "Teliko," along with Liz's expectations for the locations of paperbacks and Helen's eventual discovery of the green glass chicken! Plus, another episode of Smart Sister, Dumb Sister.

Liz and Helen discuss "Home," the all-time scariest episode of the X-Files. Plus, other stuff! Definitely other stuff! Look, Liz is still recovering from knee surgery and cannot remember a damn thing right now...

We're back! Season 4 begins! Helen and Liz discuss the X-Files episode episode "Herrenvolk," along with other stuff Liz can't remember cuz she had knee surgery yesterday and is currently taking oxycodone as she types this.

SUMMER RERUN: Helen and Liz discuss "Soft Light," plus unicorns made of dark matter, coatimundis ruining the vibe, and two separate occasions of drunk science education.