Resultado narrado por "Alyssa Poon" em Todas as categorias

I was just an anonymous clerk at a game store. Then one day a disgruntled customer ran over me and my hot coworker Kelly–all because of an unreleased game I wouldn’t sell him. Now we’re trapped in a huge three-dimensional maze where gravity seems optional, competing in dangerous contests with a team of fellow social outcasts. And failure is often fatal. But I think I know what’s going on here. We’re gathering territory, I’m gaining strange abilities, and every contest we win adds another member to my team of hot girls. We just need get to the bottom of this maze.

When I got the call that my estranged grandfather had passed away and left me his trailer and a plot of land, I was just excited to own a little property and save some money by not having to pay rent. Then I found a strange cave in my backyard. It wasn’t a sinkhole, or a bunker, or a mineshaft….

My name is Mal, and ever since I was a boy, I've been treated as a malcontent because of my ability to see magic. For everyone else, magic is proof of the Goddess’ love. To me, it is just a colorful spread of enchantments, cantrips, blessings, and hexes. And any spell I can see, I can break. I had always expected to grow up to be a ditch-digger. Instead, I was dubbed a hero. Heroes are sent out in the wasteland, to slay monsters and to challenge the Demon Lord. It’s a suicide mission. But once I was exiled, I found that the outside world was different from what I had thought.

Annowan might have finally joined my family, but our marriage doesn’t mean we can afford to slack off! My wives and I are on the trail of another of the Bitch Goddess’s missing generals. Our quest brings us to a desolate, cursed region, where we’ll have to contend with clockwork horrors, undead hordes, and my demonic grandmother-in-law. Things might look rough, but I swore to rescue my sweetheart from the Bitch’s clutches, and nothing will get in my way!

I’m a murderer, a hired killer, an assassin with unheard of magic. I never asked to be a hero, but if I don’t stop this titan from destroying the kingdom, he will kill me, my family of assassins, and the two beautiful women that I love. So, it is a hero I will become.