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In this podcast episode, I delve into invalidation and its significant impact on romantic relationships. I highlight common invalidating statements such as "Why are you upset?", "You're overreacting," or "Calm down," explaining that these make a partner feel their emotions are wrong, unjustified, or excessive. This can lead to increased frustration, shame, and a sense of being alone in their struggle, mirroring the hurt children feel when invalidated.

I emphasize the importance of using validating alternatives, such as "I see that you're feeling upset. Can you tell me what's making you feel this way?" or "It sounds like you're feeling anxious right now. That must be really uncomfortable. How can I support you?". These phrases aim to make the partner feel seen and heard, fostering connection and reducing conflict.

I then introduce a study on marital conflict behaviors, categorizing them into three styles:

•Destructive: Includes actions like yelling, insults, criticism, or bringing up past issues.

•Constructive: Involves calm discussion, active listening, saying nice things, or trying to make a spouse laugh.

•Withdrawal: Entails disengaging, such as becoming quiet or leaving the situation.

The study found that, as expected, husbands and wives who reported using more destructive behaviors had a higher rate of divorce. A particularly fascinating and counter-intuitive finding was that greater constructive behaviors among wives predicted greater divorce rates. Learn more in this episode!

Listen to my conversation with author of Validation, Dr. Caroline Fleck:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000715100953

Read the full study:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3777640/pdf/nihms494814.pdf

More ways to build emotion regulation skills with Curious Neuron!

Record your message to ask a question, share an insight or give us some feedback! https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Start your 7 day FREE trial of the Reflective Parent Club

A science-based course that helps you learn how to cope with emotions, stress, your child's behaviour and your partner! Plus, a weekly coaching call to help you build awareness and practice new tools.

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join our FREE Monthly Parental Well-Being Webinar Series:

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/989145490b

Grab a Free Resource:

• FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
• FREE Kids Activity: Help! My Emotions Are Confusing

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

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Do you ever wonder why your child’s big emotions feel so overwhelming—or why small conflicts with your partner can spiral? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Dr. Caroline Fleck to unpack the skill of validation—what it is, why it matters, and how it can radically change the way you connect with yourself, your kids, and everyone you love.

We explore what invalidation really sounds like (it’s often subtle) and why even well-meaning parents can accidentally shut down their child’s emotions. Dr. Fleck shares simple, powerful scripts for validating feelings without condoning hurtful behaviors, and we discuss research showing how invalidation increases the risk of mental health struggles and gets passed across generations.

Whether you’re parenting a toddler or a teen—or just want more connected relationships—this episode will give you tools to break cycles of invalidation and build deeper trust through emotional clarity.

Don’t miss this conversation—because learning to “validate the valid” might be the most important parenting skill you ever master.

Sources:

Science Sources:

Parental Validation and Invalidation Predict Adolescent Self- Harm

More ways to build emotion regulation skills with Curious Neuron!

Record your message to ask a question, share an insight or give us some feedback! https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Start your 7 day FREE trial of the Reflective Parent Club

A science-based course that helps you learn how to cope with emotions, stress, your child's behaviour and your partner! Plus, a weekly coaching call to help you build awareness and practice new tools.

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join our FREE Monthly Parental Well-Being Webinar Series:

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/989145490b

Grab a Free Resource:

• FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
• FREE Kids Activity: Help! My Emotions Are Confusing

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting F...

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with Amy Chiu

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be tough to slow down and truly let kids be kids. We often get caught up in schedules, expectations, and the pressure to “make learning happen.” But what if the most powerful learning happens when we pause, play, and simply show up with presence?

In this episode, Dr. Cindy Hovington speaks with early childhood expert Amy Chiu about the magic of free play and the importance of slowing down. Amy explains how play isn’t just fun—it’s a key tool for building curiosity, emotional regulation, and problem-solving. She shares why giving kids space to lead their play fosters deeper learning than worksheets ever could.

Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or educator, you'll find science-backed insights and simple, practical ways to support your child—by doing less.

🔑 What You’ll Hear:

• Why slowing down and free play matter for real learning
• How presence and pause transform connection
• The power of observing rather than directing kids’ play
• Simple ways to bring downtime and emotional check-ins into daily life

Related Podcast Episode:

Over-parenting (helicopter parenting)

Mentioned in This Episode:
📖 The Work of Play→ Amy Chiu’s website and resource hub for parents and educators reimagining early childhood learning.

Follow Amy on LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-chiu-msed-a09a1a27b/

Scientific Article: Learning Through Play at School – A Framework for Policy and Practice

More ways to build emotion regulation skills with Curious Neuron!

Record your message to ask a question, share an insight or give us some feedback! https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Start your 7 day FREE trial of the Reflective Parent Club

A science-based course that helps you learn how to cope with emotions, stress, your child's behaviour and your partner! Plus, a weekly coaching call to help you build awareness and practice new tools.

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Join our FREE Monthly Parental Well-Being Webinar Series:

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/989145490b

Grab a Free Resource:

• FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
• FREE Kids Activity: Help! My Emotions Are Confusing

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting F...