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If you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you.

Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond.

We’ll talk about:

• Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brain
• The science behind emotional flooding (in both you and your child)
• How stress, exhaustion, and self-expectations reduce your window of tolerance
• What “repair” looks like — and why it matters more than getting it perfect

You’ll walk away with practical reflection questions and simple shifts that help you move from snapping to connecting — even on the hard days.

Join next week's FREE webinar (or get the replay):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904

Read the full article:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24392687/

Share your thoughts and questions with me:

https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns

Read a blog post about this:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/12/03/why-you-still-snap-even-when-youve-done-the-work/

Support the show

Purchase our Becoming a Reflective Parent Course! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

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Hi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy.

You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap.

In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....that isn't always realistic).

I would love to find a way to communicate better with all of you. Share your story that is related to this episode in the link below OR ask a question to help me create a future podcast episode.

https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns

Support the show

Purchase our Becoming a Reflective Parent Course! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

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If you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense.

After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern:
We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scripts
• What’s really happening in your body during those moments you “flip”
• Why you’re not a bad parent — you’re simply depleted
• How viewing your child through a leadership lens instantly changes your reactions
• The real first step to building a calmer, more connected home

You don’t need more advice.
You need emotional bandwidth — and today, we talk about how to build it.

New! Becoming a Reflective Parent course is now available!!!
Learn the 10 skills that help you rewire patterns, regulate emotions, and understand your nervous system. Get it today!

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Support the show

Purchase our Becoming a Reflective Parent Course! https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

In this episode, we cover:

• The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
• Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
• How to become an emotional safe space for your son
• What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
• Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
• The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
• How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
• Why parents’ own emotional work matters
• Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust

Read our blog post about this topic:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/

Learn more from Brendan below:

@re.masculine

https://remasculine.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

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This episode will change how you see conflict.

We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.

You’ll learn:

• the Four Horsemen (with real examples)
• how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck
• the shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healing
• how your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)
• 3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversation

This is not about fixing the last fight.

This is about changing the next one.

If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.

Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/

Get the book The Next Conversation here

Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.

I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.

This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.

You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…
why others shut down to survive the moment…
and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.

We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.

And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.

You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.
It is about state.

Get their new book on Amazon here.

Follow Rachel on Instagram

Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram

Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

Ever wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.

Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.

They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate?

If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that.

Because connection isn’t about perfection — it’s about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion.

Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging people

Follow Rachel Samson

Follow Dr. Jessie Stern

Read the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioning

Listen to more podcast episodes:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

In today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.

We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?” then this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and ready for the next tantrum (yes, really).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The real reason toddlers have tantrums (and why it’s developmentally healthy
• Why “all behavior is communication” — and how to decode what your child is saying through their actions
• How to stay calm and compassionate even when you’re triggered
• Why giving in “just this once” actually leads to more tantrums
• What to do when your child prefers the other parent — and how to not take it personally
• Devon’s 3-ingredient “Recipe for Effective Discipline” that works with every tantrum
• How to model emotional regulation — even if you never learned it growing up

Get Devon's book here:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400252954/?bestFormat=true&k=transforming%20toddlerhood%20devon%20kuntzman&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k1_1_9_de&crid=11L8ZPOO86D3&sprefix=devon%20kun

Follow her on Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhood

Read our blog post:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/15/a-yale-study-shows-how-a-parents-calm-and-consistency-literally-shape-a-childs-brain/

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube