Most fatherhood advice sucks. It's often coded for political stock characters.

A few years ago, expecting my daughter, I made a running doc of fatherhood lessons I was picking up while researching for my History Of Man podcast.

This is Part 1 of a new series.

A family is a micronation. Therefore, a father is a nationbuilder.

To catch Parts 2-5 make sure you're subscribed at ruwando.substack.com

(Edited article version of this episode is there too.)

Are you a married father who could use help thriving in your marriage? Message me.

My Masculine Archetype Challenge comes with a free 1hr coaching session with me:

https://ruwando.com/archetype

If you often oscillate between opposites:

You’re too hard or too soft.

Overconfident one day. Self-doubting the next.

It may come down to your Father Wound…

In Campbell’s Monomyth, the hero’s journey begins in leaving the Status Quo—the metaphorical home of your father.

The hero (your ego) seeks out a mentor, or Secondary Father, to fill in the gaps of your masculinity left by your upbringing.

This can be seen in the types of men you’re drawn to…

Most men’s personal development stops there.

But that’s not the end of the journey.

Psychologically, it just marks the end of adolescence.

Hence a generation of self-improvement junkies who are still bogged down by internal conflict.

There’s a later stage on the Hero’s Journey that marks the end of this conflict: Atonement to the Father.

Evolutionarily this pegs to adulthood. Becoming father yourself.

I happened to record this episode a year into fatherhood. (2023.)

I’ve learned things since then. I’ll be sharing them next week.

This episode still holds up. It covers:

* The synthesis of your primary vs. secondary fathers in your masculinity

* The Prodigal Son parable deeper meaning

* Making peace with past and dad (if only internally)

New series on fatherhood lessons from history coming next week!

Make sure you’re on the list: https://ruwando.substack.com/

Are you a father who wants to succeed in relationship and business? Message me. I have a new program for married dads.

The 21 Day Masculine Archetype Challenge comes with a free 1hr coaching session with me:

https://ruwando.com/archetype

Each of us have a Master and Slave archetype within us. They represent two opposite ways of evaluating reality, and therefore making decisions. The more you operate from Master Morality, the more true you are being to your nature as a man.

I break down Nietzsche's concept of Nobility here and how it relates to male biology, modern society, and expressing yourself as a man.

This was originally recorded 5 years ago while I was awaiting the birth of my daughter. (I edited out the time-references though.)

Archetype Challenge (comes with a free coaching session with me): ruwando.com/archetype

Text of this post (and my newsletter) ruwando.substack.com(History of Man podcast which I mention in this episode is there too.)

You've been here before: She's upset and talking nonsense.

Every male instinct in you wants to correct her contradictions (and prove YOU are right). It's a trap.

Uncle Carl offers us a better mental model that makes all the nonsense make sense.

Understanding it will help you 1) neutralizing her arguments, 2) handling her unconscious so that future arguments are less necessary.

And be the Happy Genius of Your Household.

Text version: ruwando.substack.com

Btw, if you're a married man with children, and you want to succeed in marriage and as head of your household, I have a new program:

It's small group and selective (so all members are on the the same page). Message me for more info on one of the following:

Whatsapp (+12296004446)

Instagram (@ruwando)

or Email(hello@ruwando)

Other stuff:

Anabolic Psyche (hack brain chemistry)

Masculine Archetype Challenge

Your social brain "thinks" that if you are extra hard on yourself it will motivate you to do better.

But the opposite is true: The more you make yourself feel bad, the more you unconsciously do things to justify bad feelings.

Shame kills your mojo more than anything else. Kills performance. Disconnects you from your instincts and "soul."

This episode is on freeing yourself from shame considering:

* Evolutionary basis of this social emotion.

* Why self-shaming backfires. (Transactional Analysis)

* A simple but profound solution from the “Father of modern therapy,” Dr. Carl Rogers.

ruwando.substack.com

Anabolic Psyche course: go.anabolicpsyche.com (see Dopamine Detox add-on)

INSTINCT coaching group just started. Message me for info.

"Men's Personal Development" wasn't a thing even one generation ago. It became so due to shifts in culture and technology. It also is a lens on the changes in male collective consciousness.

This episode analyzes the 4 recent iterations of men's work--culturally, psychologically, and technologically-- and what it says about where male psychology is headed.

Text summary is available at: ruwando.substack.com

Anti-stress/brain chemistry course for men: go.anabolicpsyche.com

Get the course for $17, do it, and get my $497 ACM course free!

Also new group coaching program just started. Message Ruwan for details.

After a weird COVID relationship, a friend lent me a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

While dated in terms of style, I was shocked at how useful it was 20 years later.

I was also surprised that John had a lot to say about semen retention when I interviewed him.

Little did I know, he has a deeply spiritual (and sexual) past.

On that note, you can get Arousal Control Mastery (normally $497) for free if you take and complete the Anabolic Psyche mini-course within a timeframe.

https://go.anabolicpsyche.com/

Reposting this one, as I'm preparing a new episode on the Evolution of Men's Personal Development: Transformation of the Male Unconscious, where I reference 90's self-help.

Stay tuned!

Is there a formula for getting your way (with people or circumstances)?

In my experience, there are certain qualities that make someone particularly magnetic in this sense.

I draw an actionable metaphor from the physics formula for literal magnetism,

Get the text version with breakdown and summary at ruwando.substack.com

Anabolic Psyche 2.0: go.anabolicpsyche.com

+ Get my Arousal Control program for free (if you complete Anabolic Psyche.)